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Life moves forward no matter what

July 5, 2013

Poem-on-Life-Oh-My-Life

My husband’s father is losing his battle to cancer.  He has been fighting this battle for 5 years.  It’s had its ups and downs.  He’s been told he is completely clear of cancer, then 6 months later he’s told it’s back.  Chemo, radiation, experimental medicine.  He’s tried it all.  And I truly believe that these treatments have worked in-so-much-as… he’s been here for 5 years after an initial diagnosis of stage 4 colon cancer.   I also believe he has held on as long as he could for his children and grandchildren.  Now it is time for him to go.  No matter how well prepared you are, this is a hard process.

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In all of this, we know that our son doesn’t take change well.  We have tried  to keep things as calm as possible in our home, to keep his schedule as much as  possible, and to be as honest as we can be ~for his age~ with what is going on with Grandpa. What a tightrope to walk …… He is so incredibility smart that we have to be careful how we word things or what information we tell him since he tends to fixate. He asked me one day about why Grandpa’s arms had so many bruises (from all the IV’s and side effects from his treatments) which then turned into a conversation about how blood pumps through our body.  He watched a whole animation on how the vascular system in our body works.  He found it fascinating.   And once he understood the answer to his question he was able to move on.  He understands that Daddy has to be gone (a 2 hour drive one way ) to Grandpa’s house because Grandpa is very sick.  He understands that Daddy might not be home in time for his bedtime.  Understanding is one thing, but excepting is another.  He has a hard time excepting, which leads to acting out.  It’s been exhausting for all of us, including him.  One very late night that was really stressful and full of meltdowns, he come over to me, hugged me and said “Mommy, I love my family so much”

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My husband and I have both said this to each other over the last couple of days.  Life will be moving forward.. the world will keep turning.. people will move on…. and even though it will be with great sadness, our family will move on too.  We will honor him by cherishing the special mementos he has given the boys these last few years, and tell stories,and hopefully laugh.  Laughing is by far the best way to remember!

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2 Comments
  1. Debbie Hughes permalink

    Hugs to both of you at this time in your lives. You have been blessed to know Ron’s Dad for so long and your children, at least Kevin will remember him. Jack will be able to see pictures of himself with his Granddad and know that he is part of a large loving family. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

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