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You can do it, you can do it… YOU CAN DO IT!

April 30, 2013

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Hi!  How are you?  Me….. well I’m dealing with a lot.  Yep the move is huge and done.  Almost all the boxes unpacked and put away with some more organizing to do.  But in the mist of all this moving we have had other ups and downs in our world.  First dealing with the IEP for my older son.  We couldn’t come to an agreement on the services we wanted, so we tabled the meeting.  We wanted our son to go to our neighborhood school with an aid to help him out when and if he needed it.  The school district didn’t want to do that…. and suggested some Autism classes he could be in.  WE informed them that he would be going to General Ed.. not Special Ed and they would need to support that.  As the conversation became heated, the school district offered  us a tour of some school sites and see what we thought with the program administrator and autism specialist   OK, FINE!  We agreed take a look with our own eyes, and then make the choice.  Interestingly the tours made us more unsure of which way we were going to go.  But after a long discussion I think we came to a good conclusion.  Now we need to see if the school district will support our decision.  Bottom line… we want his school experience to be happy and positive.  We have high hopes!  His Kindergarten Transition IEP is in a month.. I hope to report good news soon!

Keep calm and believe you can do it

When we had our oldest son tested (for the 2nd time)  The doctor asked if we had other children.  We told her yes.  She asked if it was a boy or girl.  When we told her it was a boy, she told us to watch him very carefully.  At the first sign of any delay we should have him tested.  He had another 20% change of being on the spectrum on top of the 1-88 (stats at the time) .  He was only 4 months at the time.  I became obsessed with him hitting milestones.  He was hitting them and was early with much of them!  Hurray!!!  He is a social baby, friendly, loving, and loves to eat everything.  Although his older brother was much the same (social, friendly and loving) they are/where very different babies.  As the time came for my youngest to start talking, I wasn’t seeing the progress I wanted.  He didn’t have many words.  He was babbling, but no Mama, hardly ever a Dada….and that nagging feeling came back.  I said to myself  that I would give him until he was 16 months to see if speech showed up ~so many people who are of pure heart told me not to worry and he would talk when he was ready~  I heard that before…. Of course his 16 months landed right in the middle of our move, but I swore I would have him tested no matter what…. and I set it up.   The testing team were taken with him.  Thought he was the cutest, sweetest baby!  I thought the testing went great and was sure they were going to tell me that he was just fine and I was an over-reactive mother.  When they gave me their initial findings, I was a little shocked.  1st, they couldn’t believe how active he is.  He couldn’t sit still.  I laughed and said that he seemed very calm to me compared to his older brother.  I never ever thought my youngest was “busy”  Then came the harder part to hear, his speech was delayed to that of an 8-10 month old.  And they saw his issues with transitions, and some “flapping” going on.  So they wanted to start an early intervention program with him.  I smiled and agreed with everything they told me.  Inside I was thinking…. “I now have 2 children with autism, how the hell am I going to do this?”  To be clear, he doesn’t have the diagnosis of autism at this stage.  This agency won’t give a specific diagnosis before the age of 3.  And to be honest, I don’t care.  I just want to get him help.    With all the studies, papers, and programs I have read about and looked into, the earlier the intervention the better.  He could be “fine” by the time he hits kindergarten!  But sitting there with my sweet, smiley, chunky, funny baby on my lap and hearing about his delays and issues was a little crushing.  Some of the old feelings of *what did I do wrong*  came flooding back.  But this time I only cried for about 5 mins.  Really.  Because I thought to myself, YOU CAN DO IT!

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I am their mother for a reason.  They are my boys for a reason   We teach each other so much.  I never knew what strength I had, or what fight I would put up.  I have learned so much about myself.  I have learned a lot about the world around us and the people in our lives too.  My husband and I talked about how non stop our vigilance is with these little guys, and sometimes it’s totally exhausting.  I think that is what I would like others to understand… we don’t ever stop.  EVER.  It’s all encompassing.  I’m happy to do anything to make sure they are safe, happy, healthy, boys.  It’s my job and I’m never quitting.  I hear it over and over in my head. YOU CAN DO IT!   Yes.. I CAN DO IT!

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